


Woes of Being England's Pet

by KnightRin



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 50shades, After, Americajustwantstogotosleep, Dreams, Dreams vs. Reality, Englandthemoviecritic, M/M, Movie Night, fanfiction becoming movies, idkhowtotag, they're just husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27928294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightRin/pseuds/KnightRin
Summary: England is bored, very, very bored. How does he go about solving this absolutely terrible conundrum? Torturing his husband with bad movies and, in his opinion, terrible pieces of literature.Or, America and England are spending their precious sleeping hours watching examples of Fanfiction being turned into movies. Disclaimer, this isn't to diss anyone who enjoyed either of these films or books, just our boys having fun.
Relationships: America/England (Hetalia)
Kudos: 8





	1. A Series of Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First up on England's list, Fifty Shades...a series he absolutely did *not* read...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do NOT own Hetalia or Fifty Shades of Grey, Hetalia is owned by Hidekaz Himaruya and the FIfty Shades series is owned by E. L. James.

How did he end up here? Did he actually care about what’s on screen? America didn't think he did.

  
England’s hand was resting on America's thigh as the light from the TV flashes across his freckled face.

_Sigh, when this awful movie going to end?_

  
“Babe, this movie is terrible, can we agree on that?” America says finally, voice teetering on the edge of whining.

  
“Absolutely,” he replied, leaning on my shoulder with a cutesy smile. “But it’s certainly almost over.”

  
Most criminal of all is how boring this movie is...America just feels himself drifting off...

“Mr Grey will see you now,” says a blonde secretary as she opens large wooden doors.

  
_...alright? I could’ve sworn I was just watching a movie with England but I guess we’re doing this now._

  
America's thoughts echo in the back of his mind as his husband’s back is presented to him. Rather than the 27 year old billionaire America expected there's the 23 year old, millennium aged, nation known as England. He’s gazing out the windows to see a cookie cutter skyscraper in blank sheet Seattle. Only now does America realize the formal skirt he's wearing instead of pajama pants and the questions in his hand rather than holding his beloved's. To his Hollywood eyes, everything is set up far too perfectly...like a movie set.

  
Like a bad joke America's feet trip over nothing causing him to land on all fours, England looks over at him with a unamused frown. Not only this but America doesn't recognize these hands as his own, too small and feminine. Thoughts run wild in his head.

_Navy blue cardigan, white dress shirt, unfamiliar moving bits on my chest and a missing piece between my- holy shit._

  
“May I help you?” he asks.

  
“Um, I-I’m here to ask you questions...” says America's meek girly voice, one he immediately rejects as definitely _not_ his own.

  
_Damn, apparently I wasn’t paying attention to the dialogue because I don’t think that’s the right line._

  
England raises a comically sized eyebrow as America's mind races with the sudden change of...everything. Despite this, America, in whoever body he's in, sits across from England as that unfamiliar voice rattles off stupid questions.

  
“Are you gay..?” he asks, cringing in his mind the moment its said.

  
England Grey looks like he wants to punt America Steele across the room and out of the windows of this building. Jokes on him, America paid just enough to the movie to know England Grey will stalk him at work and get a bunch of rope for kinky time. Then they‘ll go for coffee where he’ll be all _‘I want a relationship’_ only for England Grey to say _‘you should stay clear of me.’_

_Yeah yeah, boring shit, wake me when something exciting happens...I guess the toast scene with England Grey works well enough but God the dialogue isn’t even better in my dream than the movie!_

  
“If you were mine you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week,” says England Grey after randomly taking off his shirt.

  
America's immediately feels his heartbeat in his ears and heat flush throughout his body, _curse those green eyes._

  
“What?” asks America Steele.

  
“I need to take a shower,” says England Grey, and at this point America honestly rather watch the horrible BDSM play then spend another moment in this dream.

  
“America?”

  
Oh shit, he said his name not Anastasia.

  
“What?”

  
“America!”

  
“What???”

England’s amused eyes are only matched by his chuckle.

  
“I think you have the right idea,” he says. “Sleeping instead of watching this god awful movie.”

  
“We’re going to bed? Finally.”

  
He rolls his eyes and turns off the TV, slowly making his way to their shared bedroom.

  
“Not like you were watching it, you fell asleep at the bad BDSM.”

  
“Well I had to relive it in a dream but that’s not important,” America says, trying to defend his honor as he runs to catch up to him.

  
“Ooo,” he says teasingly, putting his hands on America's chest. “Kinky sex dreams?”

  
Now it’s America's turn to roll his eyes as he just gently pushes England towards the bed. He pouts for a minute or two before just cuddling to America's side once he's finally made it in bed. England falls asleep easily as while America's paranoid that the moment he falls asleep the dream will continue...only one way to find out.

“Mr Grey will see you now,” says a blonde secretary as she opens large wooden doors.

  
_Fuck me._


	2. What's After?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After last night's terrible dream America is done with England's shit...but since he asked so nicely America can give him *one* more chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own Hetalia or After. Hetalia is owned by Hidekaz Himaruya and After is owned by Anna Todd.

“...do you just get off on making me watch bad movies now?”

America asks, staring at his husband with suspicious intent as five million logos of productions play. England, however, the smug shit simply smirks into his tea cup before wrapping himself up with the knit blanket he made for the holidays.

“It’s not like you watched the last one anyways.”

“But I had to relive them in my dreams, England, that’s worse than sitting through the actual movie.”

“Hush. It’s starting.”

America surprisingly listens and puts his arm lazily around his husband's shoulders and rolls his eyes. Bland, dry, uninspired narration over a bland, dry, and uninspired movie, great.

“Did you read this series too?”

America asks just as the main protagonist, Tessy or something, has an argument with her mom over her rebellious roommate. Oh you wear dark clothes and smoke weed big hoot, America can never understand human rebellion in movies, where’s the actual rebelling? He sees no terrorizing politicians and throwing tea into the harbor like it insulted your mother! Humans don’t know how to have fun anymore....

“Only the fanfiction version on Wattpad.”

He answers after eating some chocolate covered strawberries with a satisfied hum.

“But I bet you thought about reading the entire series.”

“Maybe.”

He says this with a gentle purr in his voice as he gives America a chocolate flavored kiss.

 _'It won’t be too bad, anytime spent with England these days is time well spent_.' America tries to reason with himself, after all being negative like this wasn't like him, it was _England’s_ job to bash movies.

_Yeah, just enjoy the ride..._

.

.

.

“I swear they could cut this movie’s time in half if they actually spoke like human beings and didn’t pause for five minutes in between every sentence!”

England laughs at America's rant as he himself mocks the love interest's accent.

“Ugh, I’m terrible, he’s British but his accent sounds fake,”

He says, amused snickers continuing to escape his mouth as the man speaks.

“You _are_ terrible for making me watch this.”

England just gives America a smirk and snuggles into his shoulder as the main couple gets into _another_ fight and the protagonist continues to cheat on her perfectly fine boyfriend.

“Hush, we’re halfway there....”

He says this but America's eyes feel heavy and weak, what if he just rests them for just a moment—

“Are you still mad?”

“No,” his body answers for him before he can even look around and realize he's in a car.

_Wasn’t I just watching a movie with Eng-_

“Well it sure seems you are, don’t act like a child.”

America catches who’s talking to him in the rear view mirror. Familiar green eyes, massive eyebrows, skin as pale as snow, definitely his husband but unlike his husband he’s not wearing an oversized sweater over some Dr Who pajamas. Rather, he’s gone for a tight black shirt and tighter black jeans, not that America's complaining because _damn_ if he looks nice it’s just that he hasn’t worn that stuff since the 70s...Why now?

_He’s definitely not covered in tattoos like this lookalike is either-wait a moment, maybe my questions would be answered if I actually listened to the dialogue._

“—we both know by this weekend you’ll be back in my bed.”

Automatically his feminine seeming jaw slacks open just as he notices the lumps of fat that America don’t remember carrying on his chest.

_I’m dreaming about the movie?! Again!? Gah! Someone wake me up before I have to endure more torture!_

England Scott apparently says something egregious enough to make America leave and started chasing after him, America reasoned that he'd be frightened if England wasn’t a tsundere twink with funny eyebrows.

“Tessa! Tessica! Tmerica!”

The voice says, making less sense as it goes on to chase him as America runs into Noah, he wasn’t changed in the dream to be anyone, he’s just Noah.

“America!”

America snaps his head up to see the cliffhanger.

“Oh good you're awake, they made the twist softer in the movie, in the original the bet was to take her virginity away, he kept the bloody sheets and used condoms.”

England explains, making him already feel queasy, being a nation and therefore used to death America wasn't disgusted by blood by in any means but the health hazards of keeping someone’s blood from their, lack of a better word, cherry being popped and who knows how old the shit in the condom was when he showed it off. Fuckin’ gross man.

“That’s disgusting...”

England’s nods and turns off the TV.

“But it is over, I was worried the movie was going to show everyone one of their fights. I’ve read trashy novels in my day-“

“Oh I know-“

“Hush, anyway, I’ve read some trashy novels in my day but the amounts of glorification of this toxic relationship in the first two books, the first one especially you know, sweet innocent virgin girl has to loosen up for the bad boy just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“Like Grease?”

“Grease at least has good music. Either way, I’ve exhausted myself trying to find answers as to why the media loves pushing unhealthy relationships on us. We’ll clean up tomorrow okay?”

He says, tilting his head as their movie snacks lay barren on their plates.

“Fine by me.”

He smiles gently before kissing his husband's cheek and snuggling into bed.

“I know we’re not prefect, but to see we could’ve been so much worse puts things into perspective at least.”

America puts Texas on his nightstand before laying his head over England’s chest to hear his subtle heartbeat.

“Rather a hundred years of realizing ‘hey maybe I was a shithead’” _yawn_ “then never realizing you were a shit head.”

America says causing England to chuckle, the Brit's hands playing with the younger blonde's hair in turn cause him to begin nodding off to a gentle sleep.

“Maybe, but if multiverse theory is law then perhaps there’s a reality where we never grow out of being awful to each other.”

“Or a reality where us being awful to each other is seen as entertainment for angst and makeup sex.”

The playful roll of England's eyes America doesn't even have to see to know he does it, its in the way the gentle prodding of his hair stills for a moment and the consistent breathing in his chest chokes to hide a snicker.

“Let’s just enjoy this reality, one in which this is our normal, saying I love you and drifting off to peaceful dreams.”

America chuckles and gives in to his husband's soft voice.

“I love you, sweet dreams hon.”

“I love you too dear.”

.

.

.

“How dare you play these games with me Hardin!”

The screams and sobbing in his own voice nearly wakes him up...wait...

_Oh fuck this!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there's two, maybe I'll make more in the future, probably not. Anyways y'all if you enjoyed After this wasn't to diss you or your taste, you are free to like what you want after all we're on archive right? I hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
